When You’ve “Failed” As a Mom

We’ve all been there. You try and try your best and then that moment arrives that makes you feel like you are the worlds worst mother. I get it!

Let me tell you a little story. Do you have your cup of coffee? Or tea? Or wine?

Here goes…

A couple of weeks ago there was a children’s service at my church. I hardly take my kids to the children service because it is always held on a Friday at 8pm. I arrive home from work at 8pm so it’s a tad difficult to get them there.

But I decided to take them this time.

I got my little guys ready in their church clothes at 8am. Yes, you read that correctly. I took them to their daycare in their church clothes so that by the time I got home from work, I can just pick them up and go straight to church.

When I arrived home that day, the boys clothing was filled with food and God knows what else. We were running late so I just threw on a sweater on both of them and ran out of the door.

When we arrived to church, I sat down with both my little boys and watched as the other children recited verses from the Bible, sang songs and performed with confidence in front of our church. Oh, and they were all neatly dressed.

So now it was my boys turn. We got to the front with another little girl who was going to sing with my son. As soon as he realized what was going on he began to throw a tantrum! With a big smile, the little girl began singing and my kid was throwing himself all over the place. I felt my face turn bright red. I tried to calm him down so that we could at least finish the song but he wasn’t having it. I had to make a signal to the guy playing the piano to stop and we left to take our seats.

During the time remaining of the service, my boys would not stay still. They disobeyed me and kept moving around and screaming. I kindly asked a good friend to hold my youngest son as I took my oldest to the bathroom. When we got to the bathroom, I began to cry. I asked God for strength, dried up my tears and went to sit back down.

We left the service that day and went back home. I put the little ones to sleep and sat on my bed thinking about how I failed that day.

My kids had dirty clothing at church, my kid doesn’t even know an entire Bible verse and these other kids were reciting verses like adults, my kid couldn’t even sing a short song, my kids wouldn’t listen to me when I begged them to stay still… 

I really felt like a horrible mother.

It took a couple of days for me to stop being so hard on myself and realize this concept:

I do the very best that I can. 

That day, I tried my best to give my boys a good experience at our church and it did not work out… and that’s okay! I am not a horrible mother because my kids were walking around in dirty clothing (kids are always getting dirty), I am not a horrible mother because my three year old had a meltdown and I am not a horrible mother because my kids wouldn’t listen.

Motherhood is not perfect. Every day won’t be all smiles and obedient children. Most days will actually be very hard. But that is the process of motherhood…

Motherhood is a choice you make everyday, to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you’re not sure what the right thing is…and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong. – Donna Ball

So the next time you feel like you have failed as mother, remind yourself that you have not failed. It is all a process we must take. The headaches, the tears, the stress is all part of us trying to mold these human beings into great adults.

And let me tell you something…

If you feel like you’ve failed, that means you care. And if you care, that means you are an amazing mother.

You’ve got this mama 😉

Processed with VSCO with ke1 preset


a loving mama

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