Today I woke up at exactly 4:55 am to the sound of people arguing outside of my apartment building. I live a block away from a night club and weekends can get hectic around here.
I waited until everything cooled down in hopes of going back to sleep.
As I waited, I decided to open my Facebook app and browse a little.
“#PRAYFORLASVEGAS” was the first status I read.
Oh no… not again! 😦
At the time, there were 20 known deaths.
My heart was heavy but I was somehow able to fall back asleep. However, when I woke up, I checked the news and those 20 rose up to 50.
50 innocent lives… Lost… For no reason.
My heart goes out the victims and their loves ones.
This terrifies me so much. I prayed over my little boy before walking out the door and dropping him off at school. I probably reminded him that I love him more than any other day before walking back home.
When I arrived home, I wouldn’t leave my two year old alone. I felt the need to simply hug him and cherish the moments I have with him. I called my husband and reminded him that I love him. And I cried. I cried a lot.
You see, as a mother, I am not only looking out for myself anymore. But I am looking out for the lives of two little human beings who have no idea of all the evil going on in this world. Right now it is my job to make this world seem comforting and friendly. They are not even five yet.
I am honestly very scared.
Scared of the future, scared of what my little boys will be up against when it is their time to go out into world…
Scared for humanity.
I want to see the good in the world but what also scares me is that the only time we do see a lot of good is right after something terrible happens.
As a believer, I know that this world will face very hard times. But as a human being, this is all just so overwhelming.
I beg you. If you are reading this, please do something good for someone today. Show someone out there who is probably just as scared as I am that there is good in the world.
And mothers, we simply need to pray for our little ones and set a good example.
Let’s allow our faith to be bigger than our fear and let’s go out there and spread love.
I wouldn’t change my children for the world but I wish I could change the world for my children.
Sending you big, loving hugs.
a loving mama